Masalah Daripada Mr. N

Salam,

I am sorry that I will need to explain my situation in English because I feel it is shorter and simpler than Malay that I write, or else my email will become a solid, publishable novel.
Here is my situation. Before that, you can call me Mr. N.

I had been with so many girls in my life that I could not count how many. Until I met her, a young lady with fresh spirit and all that i need in a girlfriend and wife.
And a couple of weeks ago she left.

It was my mistake for being such a hot-headed and out of control sometimes. Sometimes I cursed and do a lot of damage to things around me, but not to an extend that I hit her.

Professor,
Since she left I finally took a step to finally change for the better me. I took an RM1400.00 course of anger management (my salary is only RM1500.00 a month currently) and I slowly change. Surprisingly, I did not even let out even a single curse or being angry since the day I took myself into the course.

I bought a few books in making up to an ex, and most of them said not to contact the ex at least in a 30-days period, which I currently am doing now. In the meantime I pray and I ask from God for forgiveness and et cetera. Some of this books even cost me hundreds of Ringgit but I am willing to take an effort.

I don't want to back off just like that. It has been 24 years I have been searching for the one that perfects me, and now because of the imperfect me, she finally couldn't take it anymore and left. I don't want to go through again the tiring process of getting to know someone and everything. I'm done with it.

I am in the state of willing to do anything, since many told me that Allah has all the ability to change taqdir, or fate. The only fate that you cannot change is that you will one day die, but He can change the time of when you die as instantly as long as you ask for it. Kalau tidak, takdelah doa panjang umur kan?

So please advise me. She is in deep fury because I screwed up not only to her but also her friends and family. I had been thinking deep, and I'd say it is not the time to give up yet. It is just that she was very pissed and I still think she still is, and she has this mountaineous ego that sometimes exceeds mine. Now I am not in a position where i can contact her or anyone close to her; her siblings kind of hate me, her parents are somewhat upset with me, her friends too, and even her mom told me to stay away from her.
But I will never give up. I will never give up.

I would like to ask these questions:
1. what is in the mind of a lady who is damn angry at her ex, and how long generally does it take to cool her down?2. what do i do in the mean time of her cooling down period?3. She still loves me, or she's done with it, generally speaking?4. Will a woman be nostalgic and miss her bf no matter how damn pissed she is at him?5. Is there still hope?

You may ask me questions all you want. I'm sorry I don't have anything to offer. I am not here to pour out my feelings, but to seek advices in making this up once again. Please help me, and for that I thank you very much.

Best Regards,
Mr. N